all you need to know about the royal wedding

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Princess Beatrice of Awesome wore this hat. It's a Phillip Treacy (like I had to tell y'all that — I know my readers knew it had to be a Treacy). I hope it comes in hot pink. Even though I do love this hat, it doesn't come close to my favorite of Beatrice's hats, also a Treacy.

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If any of you really loved me, you would get me this hat. I need one for my birthday. This hat and dancing bears on motorcycles. 

new flip-flops

I live in different flip-flops in warm months. Not just any flip-flops — they have to have style. These are the latest addition to my collection, by Guess. 

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Christmas gift idea #5

Sometimes I go looking for Christmas gift ideas for you, sometimes the ideas find me.  This post happens to be an example of the latter.

Christmas gift idea#5: 80's Barbies

My 7 year-old has Barbies on her Christmas list.  Barbies are a great gift idea for girls and 36 year-old women who have 7 year-olds.

While browsing the Amazon.com for Barbies I came across this doll.

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This is Peaches and Cream Barbie.  She debuted in 1984 and she was one of my favorites.  I was a Barbie nut.  I was 10.  

When I saw this doll online tonight — FOR SALE — I was 10 again.  I remember opening her box.  She smelled of peaches.  Her dress was chiffon and she had a stole!  

This was glamor straight out of Dynasty.  

Speaking of Dynasty.  

51nfeMGK+rL._SL500_AA300_Shut.  Up.  Remember last week when I posted about Joan Collins and wrote out loud that when I was a kid I made my Barbies reenact scenes from Dynasty?  

 Hello, Mattel?

 

I continued to browse the Barbies 'til I hit gold.  GOLD RECORDS!

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Cyndi Lauper, Joan Jett, Cher, and Flashdance Barbies.  

I'll give you a moment.  

 

Okay.  I'm back.  I put on my legwarmers and cut the neck off my sweatshirt.  Now I'm all better.  

Thanks for your concern.  

 

the Saturday style: advice from Joan Collins

When I was but a young lass in the '80s, I would watch Dynasty and pretend that Joan Collins was my grandmother.  She was glamorous and embodied everything fabulous that women were back in the day and I want to be her when I grow up.  

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When I was little, pretty much the only reason for having Barbies was to act out scenes from Dynasty.  My Barbies were exceptionally well dressed.

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Have I reached the age where I can wear turbans?  I need to know.

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This is how you travel, ladies.

And now, advice from Joan:


 

"Wear lots of makeup and big hair."  Way ahead of you, Joan.

the saturday style: mary janes

A few months ago I read that mary janes are nice if you want to be the cute girl, that there was nothing wrong with being the cute girl — but they weren't fashion or high glam.  

Maybe they're not high glam, but they're sassy and I do love sassy.  

These are my favorites on Zappos.com right now.  

 

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I do believe I need these.

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Fun for everyday.  Hot pink stitching?  Fun.

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These also come in red, but how many red mary janes do I need?   A few more.

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Yes, I'll take these in a 9, thank you.  

yes, I love shoes

This is what was on my Facebook profile page when I commented on something Laura Beth wrote on my wall tonight.  

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I have no idea how they knew this. Have they seen the Zappos and Piperlime boxes?   Now Facebook is making me paranoid.

saturday style: Miss Universe

When I was a little girl I loved watching the Miss Universe pageant for the beginning portion where the contestants would come out in costumes of their nations.  Miss France might have a skirt that looked like the flag and a top made of brioche, Miss USA would be dressed as the Statue of Liberty, Miss Australia would have a koala attached to her back.  It was spectacular.  

Not only is the Miss Universe pageant still going on (despite never having contestants from other planets), I believe the costumes are even better.  The actual pageant is on the 23rd, but many of the contestants posed this week in their national costumes at the Mandalay Bay Resort in Vegas so we could have a little fabulous on our computer screens.  

Let's go to the photos.

Miss Belgium Cilou Annys
I've never been one for tennis, but I think it would be hard to play in that train and those shoes.  Just sayin'.

Miss Kosovo Keshtjella Pepshi
Miss Kosovo, you have a little something on your…um, never mind.

Miss Peru 2010 Giuliana Zevallos
"In Peru we know how to do the party.  AMIRITE?  AMIRITE?  I got the lampshade on my head and I wear the tablecloths.  Ha ha ha.  I stole your collectable plate and glued it to my belt.  Ha ha ha.  I make with the practical jokes too!"

Miss Honduras Kenia Martinez

Miss Honduras is a rare breed of tiger peacock.  She is to be feared.

Miss Spain 2010 Adriana Reveron
The award for most ruffles while wearing polka dots goes to Miss Spain.

Miss Venezuela Marelisa Gibson
No one's hugging Miss Venezuela/Edwina Scissorarms tonight.  

Miss Switzerland Linda Faeh
Miss Switzerland will cut a bitch.

Miss Panama Anyoli Abrego
Miss Panama was attacked by every animal in her country.  There will be a telethon hosted by George Clooney.  Stay tuned for details.

Miss USA Rima Fakih
I loaned Miss USA my Super Cougar costume.  I wear boots with it, not stripper sandals.  Tacky.

Miss Albania Angela Martini
"Suck it, Miss USA!  We have wings in Albania too!  Devil wings."  

Miss Aruba Priscilla Lee

"Stupid bitches in costumes."

 

photos from gettyimages

saturday style: Prince

Did you watch the BET awards?  I didn't either, but Prince was given a lifetime achievement award for general awesomeness.  Let's go to the pictures.

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"Why yes, I am wearing a one-of-a-kind shirt with my face on it to an award show where I will be given an award honoring the one and only me."

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Is it me or does this shirt look like those Lisa Frank notebooks with rainbows and unicorns all the kids had to have back in the day?  Poor Patti LaBelle had to close her eyes.  Don't worry, Patti, it will be okay.

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Tell me that's not eerie similar.  

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"That's right, it's not an award, but I caught it so it's mine – like Mardi Gras, bitches!"

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"I would like to thank myself for being such a genius and a pioneer and a snazzy dresser.  Remember the peek-a-boo butt pants?  Yeah, that was me.  I would like to announce the launch of my new clothing line PRINCE 4 UR AZZ, which will be a partnership by myself and the lovely rainbowfied Lisa Frank.  Peace." 

Saturday style: I love a hat

New regular feature announcement: I'm introducing the Saturday Style.  

Last Saturday it was pink Sperrys, this week it's crazy ass hats from Royal Ascot.  What, by golly, is the Royal Ascot, you ask?  Why, it's only one of THE social events of year in England!  It's a multi-day horse race with a strict dress code (think Kentucky Derby on crack) and was held this week.  Let's go to the pictures!

Guest1

Do I even have to tell you how many outfits I have that would go with this hat?

Guest 2

Love this one.

Jackie St Clair

I want this hat for my birthday.  

 

Guest6

Now that's a bow.

 
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 Super cute.

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If this were in hot pink I would have to have it.

 

Isabella Kristensen

This is how I would do subtle.

 And now for the crazies.

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 Do you know how much I love blue cheese?  

Guest9

 Cheesy.

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Fruity.

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 Oh Captain, my Captain.

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 Delicious.

Photos from Getty Images and Tom and Lorenzo.