It's the Golden Globes, people. I hope you dressed for the occasion. I'm in my hot pink robe with ruffles, so I'm probably overdressed. You people just don't know the preparation I put into this occasion. With the ruffled hood of my robe I look like a supercute Jedi, Obi-Wan Kerrobie. Dorktacular.
Time to refresh your memory of the nominees. Don't worry, the only film I've seen that's nominated is Toy Story 3. I don't get to the theater as often as I'd like, but I had no interest in Black Swan. I can't stand birds. The Social Network? I'm on Facebook all day, I pretty much know the plot. Apparently Inception was about dreams. I also have a movie coming out about dreams, it's called Dayuuuum and I can't talk about it.
Here we go! Remember to refresh the page every couple of minutes for my latest idiotic commentary. Oh, and forgive me for typos, live-blogging is fast, hard work and I am neither fast nor hard-working.
5pm – Ryan Seacrest is pointing to chairs with the stars' pics in them. I can't believe I have to tolerate him for 2 hours.
5:02 – It's 80 degrees in Hollywood. Seacrest says he is sweating. Gross. A sweaty Seacrest?
5:03 – Olivia Wilde from House and probably other stuff is wearing a dress by Marchesa. It's sparkly, like the sweaty Seacrest! Oh, she is in Tron. I wouldn't know about that b/c I didn't see it.
5:05 – Ugh, I don't like Guiliana either. Does E! purposely hire the most annoying people they can find. I know that's mean, but I'm a horrible person. Ah, Kelly Osborne. I can tolerate her. Bring on more celebrities, I am already bored.
5:07 – The Seacrest has Kaley Cuoco from The Big Bang Theory – another show I've never seen. She's wearing an engagement ring, but she's not engaged. Dumb. Her dress is gauzy.
5:09 – I have a headache. I blame The Seacrest.
5:12 – Oh dear, they have limo-cam. Why? I love that most of the celebrities don't show up 'til the last minute so the hosts just say hi to each other and pitch back to the carpet, up to the sky box, back to the carpet.
5:14 – is that Paula Abdul?
5:15 – Commercial for some gum just said the average person has 21 first kisses. Interesting. I'm no expert, but is 37 a high number? No reason.
5:19 – JLove Hewitt. Her dress looks like she has a bowl at the top. Which is nice if you don't want to carry a purse. Wait – JLove wrote a book???? Everyone can get published except for me. Good grief.
5:21 – some cute blond guy who is in Thor. He's in a tux and his tie is crooked.
5:22 – Katie Lee Joel is wearing an orange dress with candy corn at the neck. I love candy.
5:23 – First Alec Baldwin sighting of the night.
5:23- the stars show up and NOW you go to commercial?
5:25 – still can't believe they cut away from Baldwin. Seacrest, I blame you.