announcing the 3rd annual Ugly Lawn Contest

It's that time again. 

Uglylawncontest

That's right, it's The Kerry Blog Christmas Ugly Lawn Decor Contest. Readers search far and wide (much like the 3 kings searching for Baby Jesus) for the ugliest Christmas yard they can find to submit to the Kerry Blog. This year I'm giving away a $15 iTunes gift card. So, go ahead and enter. You know you want to. 

And in case you're new to the blog and wondering just how tacky tacky can be, take a look.

Christmas-decorations

And the winner is…

Announcing the winner of the 3rd Annual Kerry Blog Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest — Molly M. with a video from her 'hood.  

In my best Stefon (my favorite) voice from SNL's Weekend Update — this house has everything — Santa Claus, reindeer, regular deer, a train, a seal or something, various Disney characters, Jesus and his family, fake lit palm trees, a real lit tree, fake spriraly trees, a Merry Christmas sign, big giant candles, icicle lights, and just when you think you've seen everything — what is that?  an igloo?  yes, an igloo.  This house looks like it bought out the Christmas Display of a small town.  


 

Congratulations, Molly!  Your Starbucks giftcard will soon be on the way.

merrizzle chrimizzletime

Tumblr_ld6gobN4kt1qzpwi0o1_500

In case you've just woken up from an eggnog induced coma, I thought Snoop and I would let you know there are only 13 days 'til razzle holidazzle.  AND you have until Chrimizzle Eve to get in your photo(s) for the annual Kerry Blog Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor contest.  Send your entry to kerrybee7@yahoo.com.  

Smoke 'em if you got 'em. 

announcing the 3rd annual Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest

Yes, we're doing it again.

Uglycontest

That's right.  The Ugly Lawn Decor Contest is back.  So, take a pic or video of the tackiest Christmas-decor-filled yard in your neighborhood and email it to me @ kerrybee7@yahoo.com.  The winner will be announced on Christmas Eve and will receive a Starbucks giftcard, so you can buy all the Peppermint Mochas you want for $25.  I may even throw in some tinsel. 

You know there is a lawn that defies the laws of hideousness, so send me the pic.

If you need inspiration, here's Jenn's entry from last year:

6a010535d6b7c6970c0120a7368a57970b-500wi
That is some ugly.  

ugly Christmas lawn decor contest: winner (loser) announcement

It's Christmas Eve!  That means it's time to announce the winner (loser) of the Kerry Blog Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest.  

Drumroll please.

The $25 Starbucks giftcard goes to Anonymous!  And she sent in an acceptance speech.  Ahem.

"I would like to thank Kerry Faler for the inspiration. My mother who wishes I was adopted (that's what you get mom for making me eat cinnamon Certs as a sick child!)  My trailer which I have been living in for 2+ years and  has helped me become the "trash" I am today. My aunt who unknowingly let me use her yard to take this pic. She also won second place in the Daily Star newspaper lawn decorating contest last week. (I bet she would have one first place if i had been out there!)  My sister who was so kind to take the picture for me.  Blow-up Santa who held the sign, and last but not least Blow-up Humping dog who added the extra UMPH I needed to make this picture work.  FYI to anyone who dosen't know- You must ALWAYS have a humping dog in your mooning pictures otherwise the picture just dosn't look right.  Thanks everyone and have a Happy New Year.  Anonymous… "

No, Anonymous, thank you.  Thank you for helping the Kerry Blog to bring the interwebs the best in what tacky has to offer.  And yes, readers, Anonymous' mother did leave her alone sick once as a child and told her to eat Certs, because everyone knows that Certs are a cure-all.  Forget Obamacare, just give a pack of Certs to each American and hope for the best.  It worked for Anonymous, look how well she turned out.

Also, the winner (loser) of the bonus round is Jenn for this:


 Copy of DSC05710
 

Yeah, that's just wrong.  The snowman is smiling because he ate Santa and knows you're not getting any presents tomorrow morning.  Sorry.  Jenn wins some tinsel and a $10 Barnes and Noble giftcard.  Hooray for tinsel!

Here's hoping you have a very merry Christmas Eve,

ugly Christmas lawn decor contest: entry #4 had to be censored

It's hard to shock me.

Leave it to a certain blond friend of mine to make me choke on my afternoon coffee when I checked my Yahoo email.  She asked me to enter this photo anonymously.  I believe it's the only photo I've ever had to censor for the blog.  

Stacy's ass
 

My good friend wrapped herself in tinsel and posed for this.  I'm just glad there isn't a nativity scene close by.  

Oh dear.  

ugly Christmas lawn decor contest: entry #3 (in daylight)

Behold!  Melissa's entry in daylight!

Mels
 

If only the wisemen would have had clear signs like this maybe they would have made it to see Jesus on time.  

Remember, you still have time — send in photos of the tackiest yard in your 'hood to kerrybee7@yahoo.com and the winner will receive a $25 Starbucks giftcard.  The tackiest entry will be announced on Christmas Eve!  

ugly Christmas lawn decor contest: entry #3

Here's Melissa's entry for the Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest.  

Apparently the Christ child is to the left.  

Jesus sign
 

Send in photos of the tackiest yard in your 'hood to kerrybee7@yahoo.com and the winner will receive a $25 Starbucks giftcard.  The tackiest entry will be announced on Christmas Eve!  

the bonus round

Last night the kids and I hit the suburban streets of Madisonville for one of my favorite seasonal activities: looking at Christmas lights while listening to Christmas music from the comfort of our heated minivan.  As usual, my idealized traditional evening turned to crap when I got lost in one of the ginormous subdivisions, the heat completely went out in the minivan (it had been working intermittently — like windshield wipers), and the middle child had a meltdown ending in tears.  Twenty minutes later, I followed someone out of the subdivision and we made our way home.  

While looking at the same houses 30 times last night, I came to a conclusion: people need to get original.  

I saw enough lit and inflatable trains, Winnie the Poohs, Mickeys, giant ass Santas, North Pole barber-pole-type signs, nativity sets, and Santas on motorcycles, boats, sleighs, etc to last a lifetime.  It appears Mr. and Mrs. America is in a rut, so your favorite redheaded blogger took it upon herself to present a challenge.  You know about The Kerry Blog Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest, but I'm introducing a bonus round.  If you send in a pic of something truly unique you will win an extra prize (to be determined).  

Taking our inspiration from Sarabeth's Christmas Zebra, here are a few ideas to get you in the outlandish spirit.


Crazysantas
 Yes, that's Santa on a hammock, Santa getting a ticket, Grandma getting run over by a reindeer in a steamroller, and a giant inflatable dreidel.  There aren't enough inflatable Hanukkah decorations are there?  I'm thinking of getting some.

Remember to send in photos of the tackiest yard in your 'hood to kerrybee7@yahoo.com and the winner will receive a $25 Starbucks giftcard.  The tackiest entry will be announced on Christmas Eve!  

ugly Christmas lawn decor contest: entry #2

When Jennifer asked me if I'd seen the Christmas Zebra I thought she'd been hitting the egg nog a little too hard.  

Then she sent in these photos as Sarabeth's entry for Kerry Blog Ugly Christmas Lawn Decor Contest.  

Copy of Pic4
 

It appears this homeowner has purchased every inflatable thing in existence.  We have the snowperson family, penguin merry-go-round, and my favorite — the mythical Christmas Zebra.

Copy of Pic1
 

Yes, kids, it's the Christmas Zebra.  I'm surprised there isn't a sunbeam shining down from the heavens on the mythical Christmas Zebra.  He IS what this season is all about, after all.  As you know, nothing says Christmas like a sweater-wearing striped equid.  Some people will try to tell you zebras are Jewish and therefore do not celebrate Christmas, but here we have proof!  Next year I'm only decorating with zebras.  And unicorns because they love Christmas.  Notice Santa's at the door as well as caroling by the windows.  The ferris wheel is something else.  What, I don't know.  There is a carnival theme, but not quite.

Copy of Pic6
  

Of course, the scene wouldn't be complete without the house band from the North Pole bar.  It's the Icee Polar Bear, a penguin, and what appears to be a blind antler-wearing well-endowed kangaroo.  That ain't no reindeer, peeps.  Reindeer have more self-respect than this punk.  I'm not sure what that is behind him, looks like he killed Santa and attempted to hide the body.  Never trust a masked kangaroo in antlers, they're trouble.

Send in photos of the tackiest yard in your 'hood to kerrybee7@yahoo.com and the winner will receive a $25 Starbucks giftcard.  The tackiest entry will be announced on Christmas Eve!