53/365: Dr. Feelgood

I’m pretty sure I have bronchitis, by the cough I have. Or I’m dying. I’m not sure. Someone once told me I’m hard to kill, so there’s that. Meanwhile, I’m taking cough/cold medicine and using my inhaler like a good girl with asthma.

The song of the day is “Dr. Feelgood” by Aretha Franklin. She’s one of my two favorite female singers, the other being Natalie Merchant. Aretha sounds like no one else. Or should I say that no one sounds like her. I’ve loved her ever since I can remember. One of my dearest friends nicknamed me “ReeRee” after her. The woman has withstood many personal issues that would have held back most any woman. Of course I admire her for that, but it’s her songwriting and sound that I love. She’s amazing. Enjoy.

52/365: My cat wrote this post

I’m still flu-ish, so I’m letting my cat, F. Catz Fitzgerald, write this post.

Correction: he couldn’t open Andrew’s Kindle. Oh well.

51/365: I Don’t Mind At All

This is the 51st day of the year, 51st post. I haven’t counted the number of songs. I plan to write more posts of substance, but know that every post I’ve written (and will write) are intentional. Every song is picked with purpose.

Today is a song post. This song is amazing. Easily in my top ten in my 43 years. The song is “I Don’t Mind At All” by Bourgeois Tagg. I first heard it on KVKI 96.5 in Shreveport, LA (the hometown) in 1987, and no, I didn’t have to look any of that up. I taped the song off the radio with my old school jam box onto a Maxell blank tape and listened to it a million times.

Over the years I lost the tape, bought it at a record store, lost that one, and bought it on CD about 10 years ago and loaded it onto my laptop. Three laptops later, I don’t have it anymore. It’s not on iTunes or Amazon music. I’ll have to buy another CD, but that’s ok.

And over the years I listened to it after boyfriend breakups, when I was down, when I wanted to hear poetry. The lyrics are poetry ( I’ll post them). Just beautiful. And honestly, it’s timeless. The song could be recorded by The Head and the Heart tomorrow and you’d never know it was from 1987. It’s kind of slow. Strings. Great lyrics — repetitive, but purposeful, intentional — as much as Brent Bourgeois’ perfect voice is telling the listener that he doesn’t mind losing someone, he’s trying to convince himself, then, by the end it seems he really doesn’t mind at all. And the video is full of mirrors — fragile glass imagery — pairs with the fragile lyrics. Good stuff.

I hope you enjoy.

The time for talking’s over now,

I think it’s time to let you go;

But I don’t, no, I don’t mind at all.

It’s getting so you never know

When things are better left alone;

But I don’t, no, I don’t mind at all.

It’s important to me

That I don’t see you laughing at me.

But I’m smart enough to know

That I’ll have to let you go.

But I don’t mind at all.

Sentiments and tears will get you

As far as you might think they will;

But I don’t, no, I don’t mind at all.

Misery loves company,

But she will never fit the bill;

But I don’t, no, I don’t mind at all.

It’s important to me

That I don’t see you laughing at me.

But I’m smart enough to know

That I’ll have to let you go.

But I don’t mind at all.

Seven years ago,

I said good-bye to my own sanity;

But I don’t, no, I don’t, no, I don’t mind at all.

50/365: Sick and tired

I drove back from the hometown today and I have a cold. I promise to get back to writing posts soon. As for today, here’s an excuse to play the wonderful Michael Penn: his song “Seen the Doctor.”

49/365: Every letter

48/365: You Are the Everything

Too many emotions.

R.E.M. makes sense when things don’t make sense. Sometimes music is the only thing that makes sense.

This is for those things.

“You Are the Everything”

47/365: I need to laugh

I need to laugh because if I let things get to me I’ll cry and I might not be able to stop. So, let’s laugh.

I saw these last night and they made me laugh.

And because I’m only semi-obsessed with cults, this made me LOL.

45/367: Hospital

I’m in the waiting room of the surgery center where my mom is in surgery. They just brought her back. She’s wearing a blue hair cap. I’m keeping her purse company.

My mother was diagnosed with cancer a month ago and is surgery right now, so of course I’m writing. Hospitals are odd places. I’ve been in quite a few hospitals. They’re not as superfantastic as the ads would have you believe. That was joke. The good joke is that ads for mental illness are amazing with actors who clearly look like they’re ready to jump off a bridge, but once they’re on the medication, they’re walking on the beach or at a picnic with their families. Believe it or not, I am Bipolar II and I have walked on beaches.

When we walked in, there was this ATM machine where patients sign in. Yes, I know it’s not an actual ATM, but that’s exactly what it looks like. It even has a card reader swipy thingie. I guess that’s the new thing. Now we sign in on ATM machines and have robots in the OR. My last surgery was robot assisted. I hope any future surgery will be completely robot performed with drones giving the robot doctors scalpels, sponges, and suctioning. That is the goal.

After they brought my mom back, I walked around. It’s freezing in here and I didn’t bring a jacket because I obviously don’t understand temperature and that just looking at the high for the day doesn’t help when you have to be somewhere by 6:30 AM. There is a glass case displaying local high schools (that’s mine) and LSU for some reason. I don’t care. I have no feelings about any college. Not even the one I went to (except for the dorms. I loved being an R.A. in a couple of dorms). And now they’ve changed everything and knocked down some dorms to build brand new ones. It’s weird.

In the front of the surgery center there is a sign saying “coffee in vending,” so I went to the vending area where there was no coffee. Don’t lie about coffee. Ok, first of all, don’t lie. Second, don’t fucking lie to me about coffee. My blood is 80% coffee. I need coffee several times a day to live. I bought M&M’s, which I haven’t had in forever and a Coke that I can’t drink until it’s a little flat. I can’t do carbonation. Feel sorry for me.

When I walked back to the room with my mom there was one person in the waiting room. When I came back from not the lying vending area, it was half full. Apparently Valentine’s Day/Ash Wednesday is a popular day for surgery. Who knew? Also, rules clearly do not apply to me, You surgery center.

Thank American Baby Jesus for earbuds because look what was on the TV when. I came back. Freaking Dennis the Menace. I mean, good Lawd, people. Get it together and at least put on CNN. The Olympics. Even QVC. Damn. How can these people expect me not to riot? Can you riot with only one person? Is one person just a temper tantrum? Look into that for me, people.

I might post again later, but here’s your song for the day, “Hospital” by The Lemonheads.

44/365: We All Go Back to Where We Belong

I’m in the hometown while my mother has surgery.

It’s a short post tonight. It’s R.E.M.’s “We All Go Back to Where We Belong.”

The point of this song is “Is this really what you want?” I don’t know what Michael Stipe meant that line to mean, but I know what it means to me (no, not my husband — no rumors, please and thank you).

Is this really what you want?

43/365: Let the Mystery Be

I’m heading to the hometown tomorrow to be with my mom during her surgery. I’m packing. I’m organizing. I’m making lists.

So, here’s one of my favorite songs. It’s a cover. This is “Let the Mystery Be” by Natalie Merchant and David Byrne.