13/365: Pretty (Ugly Before)

Today’s song is by one of my favorites, Elliot Smith, who passed away much too soon. He was an amazing lyricist and musician. He was so fantastic that he was asked to write the entire soundtrack for Good Will Hunting. Do you know the only other films scored by one group? The Graduate (and She’s the One [Tom Petty]). The former was done by Simon and Garfunkel, of course. That’s kind of a big deal not done for films. It’s common in animated films, not live action. It’s done when a director wants a particular feel for a film. Next time you watch either of those films, notice the tone of a scene, then the song. Both films and soundtracks are retry melancholy, which I doubt is a coincidence. This is an introduction to Elliot Smith. With another 350 or so posts to go this year, we’ll hear a few more.

Anycholy, today’s blog will be nonsense and thoughts and one new law.

Now, this is what our forefathers were fighting for.  Have you heard?  A town in Michigan has made it illegal to be annoying.  This is my dream come true, from CNN:

Brighton City Council approved a public conduct code Monday night, which includes fining someone up to $500 for being annoying.  One section of the bill reads, “It shall be unlawful for a person to engage
in a course of conduct or repeatedly commit acts that alarm or seriously annoy another person and that serve no legitimate purpose.”  The bill also states it’s unlawful for anyone to insult, accost, molest or otherwise annoy any person in public.

I’m moving.  Michigan, here I come.  I can’t remember when I last heard of something so suited to my skills than citing people for being annoying.  I hope the police uniforms come in pink.  Maybe I’ll get to use a taser.

Cool.

Seriously, we need a law like this.  I love the last line “it’s unlawful for anyone to insult, accost, molest, or otherwise annoy any person in public.”  Public in my world means anywhere outside your home.  Walking down the street, in Target, the mall, restaurants, anywhere.  I wonder if one could make a citizens arrest.  My town hasn’t passed this brilliant law yet, but I don’t see any harm in my issuing citations now.  I would consider it a public service to do so.  My way of giving back to the community, if you will.

I’ll start my patrolling on Boxing Day, the day after Christmas.  Annoying people tend to come out the day after Christmas to various retail outlets to exchange and return gifts their well-meaning friends and family so loving purchased for them.  They return things like sweaters, bathrobes, and slippers that look like sock-monkeys and exchange them for things they “really wanted” like furry boots and pajama bottoms that say “sweet thang” on the butt.

Since I brought it up and this is the Kerry Blog, let’s talk about bad gifts for a moment.  Gifts you wouldn’t even think of regifting.  I’ve mentioned two gifts I’ve received in Christmases past, the How to Go to Hell book and the Crown Royal bag of loose change, but that’s only a sampling.  I have yet to tell y’all about the year I opened eyeshadow (really, who gives eyeshadow?) that had been at least tested, if not used.  When I was 17, a boyfriend gave me a koosh ball — just a koosh ball.  A former close friend gave me a margarita glass once (I used to have one drink once a year, literally).  Let’s see, I’ve gotten personalized things with my name spelled wrong.  It’s Kerry; not Carrie, Keri, Cary, Kerri, or any other combination of those letters — it’s really not that difficult to spell.  Other bad gifts include imitation brie, a tshirt WITH matching earrings of that leaning cherub that was on everything 20 or so years ago, tiny earrings, and odd things that say “bee” on them because people know I love bees (but not just the word). Not the nice things, I’m talking the “I saw this and thought of you” things with bees. Please do not think of me at Goodwill.

On the other hand, I am the giver of all gifters. It’s a sickness. I love giving gifts. I love everything about it. The gift idea, shopping, picking the wrapping and ribbon, wrapping, and giving. It’s serious business for me. It’s ridiculous is what it is.

As I’m writing this, WordPress isn’t formatting correctly, so I don’t know what it will look like. Chances are I’ll have to rework it a dozen times.

Here I go to ice my finger and elevate it. Love you people.

Comments

  1. Barbara Herring says:

    Enjoying your blog this year. Hope your finger gets better soon.

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