11/365: where my brain is today

Today I tried to spell “gem” to Andrew with a J like “Jem and the Holograms.” Mother of the year.

I did not have a Coke float from Sonic today. Things just weren’t the same. Yes, I have come to love them. It is an off-menu item. I’ve still managed to lose 15 lbs.

On another note (this whole post is another note), the most fun game ever to play is dodge the cars driving aimlessly through the doctor’s office parking lot.

For some reason I agreed to be a Nielson TV household for a week next month. They said my results will be used to determine broadcasting. Hope y’all like Martha StewartBakes and Seinfeld reruns. Really, I read that they’re going to make a few new episodes of AbFab next year and I can’t wait. How can you not love a show in which a character says about being sober, “worst 8 hours of my life”?

I say that and I’m not a big drinker, despite what graphics may appear on this blog and on CNN.

I wear waterproof mascara because I tend to have allergy-watery eyes. Anyway, I use this waterproof mascara remover and it doesn’t list the ingredients, but I’m pretty sure it’s Crisco, because this is the greasiest stuff on Earth and I can’t see after I use it and I tripped over a pair of shoes by my closet after leaving my bathroom.

Can I write a run-on sentence or what? You’d never believe I was an English Ed major. You’d probably believe that I dropped out of college after 3 and a half years. I did. It was a good decision, made a lot of people proud. Made myself happy.

You know what the impressive thing I learned from my college advisor was? That “awkward” is the most satisfying word to type or spell out loud. Shout out to Fran! I may have told you this before, but at the award ceremony (or whatever it was) for my major, Dana and I won tennis lessons with Fran. We didn’t cash that prize in.

I learned how to make an em dash on my Mac (—). You’d probably just call that a dash, but no, it’s an em dash. This will change my life.

In case you’re wondering, it’s called the “em dash” because the character is the same width as an M. It’s a unit of measure in the world of typography. Of course I would know that. There is also an “en dash.” Guess how wide that one is. I’ll wait.

Recently I read an essay condemning the use of em dashes. It pissed me off (as things tend to do). The author said using it leads to less efficient writing. I’ve never met a writer who questioned if their work was efficient. Good, relevant, smart — yes. Besides, if the punctuation was good enough for Billy Shakespeare and Em-dash Dickinson, it’s good enough for me.

I do not want to go back to the dermatologist for a long time. My finger is still completely numb from today’s visit.

Confession: I watch the Food Network when nothing else is on, thus I have it on a lot. I miss Rachael Ray because I loved watching her gather all of the ingredients and things she’s going to use at the beginning of the show because I’m waiting for her to drop something. She piles up things like crazy and carries 20 things at once. She is bound to drop something on one episode. This is the same reason I watch ice skating. I like the falls. Yes, I am a horrible person.

By they way, the Winter Olympics are next month. Yay — falling skaters!

Today’s song is “All Day Today” by Hospitality, a fun little band. The lead singer has a nice distinct voice. I like them.


  1. I love the em dash. I use it for all dashes, whether appropriate or not.

  2. Our texts are all dashy.

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