Archives for September 2013

I love fall

Saw this on the internets.


Lucy and her typewriter

lucy_typewriter_thumbThis isn’t so much in the vain of my Writers with Their Typewriters series, but it’s Lucille Ball. I love Lucy. I love her so much I named my dog after her. It’s true.  She was a brilliant comedienne. If you haven’t seen her in anything but her TV shows, do yourself a favor and watch Stage Door. She’s 26 and beautiful and steals every scene she’s in.

Hello Walter

DeviantArt user UniqueT made a Walter White Hello Kitty. This may be my favorite thing since the Hello Kitty AK-47.



Hello Kitty life

Longtime readers know I love Hello Kitty. Raise your hand if you knew this. Put your arm down, I can’t see you, fool – this is the interwebs.

I’m not sure when my love of Hello Kitty began. I don’t like the television show. It’s creepy. I mainly like that one can buy anything with Hello Kitty’s image, in the shape of Hello Kitty, etc.*

For example, I like to start my day with a balanced breakfast or corn flakes and bacon.

hello-kitty-corn-flakes-400x518 hello-kitty-bacon

After Hello Kitty bacon, it’s time for a Hello Kitty smoke. Smoke ’em if you got ’em, y’all. Hello Kitty cancer will be so cute!



Then I get dressed. Today I’m wearing my Hello Kitty brass knuckles. They make me feel empowered and feminine.



Put on a little Hello Kitty, um, deodorant. Yeah, that’s it. I don’t know what this scent is. I’m scared.



Sometimes it’s hard to find a bra to fit these Hello Kitty implants I got a few years ago, but it’s worth it.



When I’m feeling fancy, I’ll pop in my Hello Kitty grill. You know, for nights out – weddings, bar mitzvahs, partying with my homies on occasions where chewing is not required.


Or sometimes I stay home and chop firewood with my Hello Kitty ax. I might need it to chop down my Christmas tree.



Because it’s always a very Hello Kitty Christmas.



After a long day of chopping wood or doing whatever, I might light up my Hello Kitty bong, er, uh, pipe.



I’ll put on my Hello Kitty glasses and settle in for a cozy night.



Blogging on my Hello Kitty typewriter. It’s harder to blog on a typewriter, but again – it’s worth it. I’m old school.



One day I’ll die, but don’t worry, I’m Hello Kitty TO THE GRAVE. That’s right. A Hello Kitty coffin.



Complete with the Hello Kitty headstone. Although mine will be pink and shaped like a bow because I’m classy like that.



*all photos from Hello Kitty Hell. No, I don’t have any of these, but I’m saving up for that headstone.


I’m not sleeping well lately. Don’t worry, I have Ambien. And now a haiku.

Sweet, sweet Ambien
You make me sleep text and shop
You’re my Ambi-friend


Happy Friday

It’s Friday and you will never be as bad ass as this kid smoking a cigarette with a rooster.


Twerkin’ to the oldies

Let’s all agree that Richard Simmons’ pretend DVD “Twerkin’ to the Oldies” is the scariest thing we can think of.



Sweet mother of Miley Cyrus, it is the scariest thing ever.

It’s Thursday

It’s Thursday, so here’s a photo of Snoop Dogg with a Sea Lion. I have to think this is where he got his new name, Snoop Lion.

Snoop Dogg At SeaWorld San Diego