Archives for September 2013

I love fall

Saw this on the internets.

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Lucy and her typewriter

lucy_typewriter_thumbThis isn’t so much in the vain of my Writers with Their Typewriters series, but it’s Lucille Ball. I love Lucy. I love her so much I named my dog after her. It’s true.  She was a brilliant comedienne. If you haven’t seen her in anything but her TV shows, do yourself a favor and watch Stage Door. She’s 26 and beautiful and steals every scene she’s in.

Hello Walter

DeviantArt user UniqueT made a Walter White Hello Kitty. This may be my favorite thing since the Hello Kitty AK-47.

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Hello Kitty life

Longtime readers know I love Hello Kitty. Raise your hand if you knew this. Put your arm down, I can’t see you, fool – this is the interwebs.

I’m not sure when my love of Hello Kitty began. I don’t like the television show. It’s creepy. I mainly like that one can buy anything with Hello Kitty’s image, in the shape of Hello Kitty, etc.*

For example, I like to start my day with a balanced breakfast or corn flakes and bacon.

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After Hello Kitty bacon, it’s time for a Hello Kitty smoke. Smoke ’em if you got ’em, y’all. Hello Kitty cancer will be so cute!

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Then I get dressed. Today I’m wearing my Hello Kitty brass knuckles. They make me feel empowered and feminine.

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Put on a little Hello Kitty, um, deodorant. Yeah, that’s it. I don’t know what this scent is. I’m scared.

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Sometimes it’s hard to find a bra to fit these Hello Kitty implants I got a few years ago, but it’s worth it.

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When I’m feeling fancy, I’ll pop in my Hello Kitty grill. You know, for nights out – weddings, bar mitzvahs, partying with my homies on occasions where chewing is not required.

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Or sometimes I stay home and chop firewood with my Hello Kitty ax. I might need it to chop down my Christmas tree.

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Because it’s always a very Hello Kitty Christmas.

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After a long day of chopping wood or doing whatever, I might light up my Hello Kitty bong, er, uh, pipe.

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I’ll put on my Hello Kitty glasses and settle in for a cozy night.

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Blogging on my Hello Kitty typewriter. It’s harder to blog on a typewriter, but again – it’s worth it. I’m old school.

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One day I’ll die, but don’t worry, I’m Hello Kitty TO THE GRAVE. That’s right. A Hello Kitty coffin.

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Complete with the Hello Kitty headstone. Although mine will be pink and shaped like a bow because I’m classy like that.

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*all photos from Hello Kitty Hell. No, I don’t have any of these, but I’m saving up for that headstone.

Sleep

I’m not sleeping well lately. Don’t worry, I have Ambien. And now a haiku.

Sweet, sweet Ambien
You make me sleep text and shop
You’re my Ambi-friend

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Happy Friday

It’s Friday and you will never be as bad ass as this kid smoking a cigarette with a rooster.

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Twerkin’ to the oldies

Let’s all agree that Richard Simmons’ pretend DVD “Twerkin’ to the Oldies” is the scariest thing we can think of.

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Sweet mother of Miley Cyrus, it is the scariest thing ever.

It’s Thursday

It’s Thursday, so here’s a photo of Snoop Dogg with a Sea Lion. I have to think this is where he got his new name, Snoop Lion.

Snoop Dogg At SeaWorld San Diego