39 things I’m pretty sure I’m never going to do now that I’m 39

Usually for my birthday I post a list of Things I Know For Sure for each year I’ve been alive and kicking. This year is different. I may actually know less than 39 things. So, I’ve decided to do a list of 39 Things I’m Pretty Sure I’m Never Going to Do/Be Now That I’m 39.

1. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to be a Solid Gold Dancer.

2. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to learn the harp.

3. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to be an astronaut.

4. I’m pretty sure I am not America’s Next Top Model.

5. I’m pretty sure no one is ever going to invent a clothes-folding machine.

6. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to start smoking.

7. I’m pretty sure Rick Astley is never gonna give me up.

8. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to be taller.

9. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to have a pet unicorn/pegasus.

10. I’m pretty sure I’ll never learn to iron correctly.

11. I’m pretty sure I’ll never know what the secret 11 herbs and spices are.

12. I’m pretty sure I’m not adopted and my real parents are not Mary Poppins and Bert from Mary Poppins.

13. I’m pretty sure I am not going to be famous enough to get my own Ben and Jerry’s flavor.

14. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be queen.

15. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to learn to use my “inside voice.”

16. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be the heavyweight champion of the world.

17. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to see a leprechaun.

18. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to convert to Scientology (sorry, Travolta).

19. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to win the Kentucky Derby.

20. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be one of Tina Turner’s backup singers.

21. I’m pretty sure I’ll never know what Meatloaf was talking about when he said he would do anything for love, but he wouldn’t do that.

22. I’m pretty sure I’m not a Pepper.

23. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to understand algebra.

24. I’m pretty sure I’ll never like raw tomatoes (unless they’re in salsa).

25. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to be a guest star on The Love Boat.

26. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to be a Publisher’s Clearinghouse winner.

27. I’m pretty sure I’m not what Willis was talking about.

28. I’m pretty sure I’ll never climb Mt. Everest. I don’t have the shoes for that.

29. I’m pretty sure I’m too old for professional cheerleading.

30. I’m pretty sure my face will never be carved into Mount Rushmore.

31. I’m pretty sure I am not your next American Idol.

32. I’m pretty sure I’m not going to start my own perfume line.

33. I’m pretty sure I will not be a Supreme Court Judge.

34. I’m pretty sure I will never be on COPS.

35. I’m pretty sure I will never win a gold medal in Rhythmic Gymnastics.

36. I’m pretty sure I will never be within earshot of Tom Cruise to yell “show me the money!”

37. I’m pretty sure I’m never going to swim the English Channel.

38. I’m pretty sure I won’t discover a previously unknown dinosaur and have it named after me.

39. I’m pretty sure I’ll never go blond.

Comments

  1. Christi Fortson says:

    Ditto on everything but the raw tomatoes.. I do like a good homegrown tomato with some salt.

  2. Never say never!

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