Royal Ascot 2013

As longtime readers know, the Royal Ascot is one of my favorite things in the world. The Royal Ascot is a multi-day horserace in England where people wear the gaudiest, most ridiculous hats you have ever seen. I look forward to this each year and hope to see if for myself one day because OMG crazyass hats.

Let’s go to the photos.

Duchess Drunky de Wheresmywine needs to call a taxi.

Duchess Drunky de Wheresmywine needs to call a taxi.

it is well known that chocolate is not sold at the Royal Ascot, so Countess Hershey brings her own.

it is well known that chocolate is not sold at the Royal Ascot, so Countess Hershey brings her own.

Duchess Pearly Unicorn of Skeletonshire

Duchess Pearly Unicorn of Skeletonshire

Lady Aero de Plane

Lady Aero de Plane

"Darling Frederick, why are you saluting?" "Mummy, you always said to salute the flag." "yes, Darling, that is - oh, never mind."

“Darling Frederick, why are you saluting?”
“Mummy, you always said to salute the flag.”
“yes, Darling, that is – oh, never mind.”

NEVERMORE!

NEVERMORE!

"Yes, Winifred, I do believe Prince Harry is looking." "I can't tell, Imogen, this hat is blocking my view." "Mine is too. It could be that ginger from Harry Potter, I'm not sure."

“Yes, Winifred, I do believe Prince Harry is looking.”
“I can’t tell, Imogen, this hat is blocking my view.”
“Mine is too. It could be that ginger from Harry Potter, I’m not sure.”

Sir Tom Fish-Petty from across the pond. Far across the pond. He swam.

Sir Tom Fish-Petty from across the pond. Far across the pond. He swam.

Lady Foxy Lady

Lady Foxy Lady

Lady Rose Bush-Head of the Steffordshire Bush-Heads.

Lady Rose Bush-Head of the Steffordshire Bush-Heads.

I love a good dessert. not on my head. and not with a Marilyn Monroe impersonator.

I love a good dessert. not on my head. and not with a Marilyn Monroe impersonator.

If I have learned anything, it's to not trust a woman wielding a bunny. Put that bunny in a pot and it's Fatal Attraction time.

If I have learned anything, it’s to not trust a woman wielding a bunny. Put that bunny in a pot and it’s Fatal Attraction time.

If you don't have a hat, get a newspaper and make one. Top it with yellow sunglasses and a granny cardigan and voila! you are the Zooey desChanel of the Royal Ascot.

If you don’t have a hat, get a newspaper and make one. Top it with yellow sunglasses and a granny cardigan and voila! you are the Zooey desChanel of the Royal Ascot.

If you don't have a hat just use your golden umbrella. And put a snail on your arm.

If you don’t have a hat just use your golden umbrella.

or just put a bird on it.

or just put a bird on it.

"Mummy, I want to ride the pony!" "Darling, that's just some old nag with a horse hat."

“Mummy, I want to ride the pony!”
“Darling, that’s just some old nag with a horse hat.”

dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness this thing called Lego Wedding.

dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness this thing called Lego Wedding.

and 9 months after the Lego wedding, the Royal Ascot stork brought the royal baby. on a hat. amen.

and 9 months after the Lego wedding, the Royal Ascot stork brought the royal baby. on a hat. amen.

bottoms up, horse bitches!

bottoms up, horse bitches!

 

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