Live blogging my OB/GYN appointment

Where is Obamacare on making it illegal to air The Price is Right in OBGYN waiting rooms?

One guess where I am right now.

Also, is it still illegal to kill people in waiting rooms? What if they’re letting their child play on an iPad at full volume?

What if their child is doing some sort of interpretive dance and dropping Goldfish crackers?

What if their child has a speech impediment and keeps saying “wabbit”?

So, I’m basically live-blogging my doctor appointment. While I was waiting to see my doc (while wearing a sheet over my lap), I heard someone ringing a bell. Jesus, really?

Now I’m back in the waiting room waiting for an ultrasound. A child is whistling. People, stop bringing your children to the OBGYN.

And now the kid burped.

Woman walked through the lobby with a gigantic tattoo on her chest that looks like some M.C. Escher mess. People, stop getting tattoos on your chests. Unless it’s a little Lacoste alligator. I can be d the rules for that.

But that’s it.

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That’s an extremely blury pic of tattoo girl.

Had an ultrasound. Now back in the waiting room. There is a tornado warning.

I’m going to be killed in the GYN office by a tornado. That would be the most apropos death ever, since I spend more time here than anyone.

I need a sedative.

It is so dark outside right now.

Oh, don’t worry, front desk nurse person just said they’ve lost power before “and the doctor just gets a flashlight and keeps rolling.”

A nurse just walked by with two flashlights.

Guess I’ll hide under the stirrups if I hear the sound of a train.

The lights flashed. If I were in a sitcom this would be freaking hilarious.

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