I stepped on a pencil in my bedroom. One of the children left it there. It hurt as much as when I’ve stepped on a Lego piece, but not as much as when I stepped on the plug end of the vacuum cleaner cord.
My dog is driving me nuts. I have a love/hate relationship with her. I thought she was dying a few weeks ago, took her to the emergency vet and the vet did an ultrasound and some tests. She said Lucy either had cancer or some weird basset hound infection and put her on steroids. My dog is on steroids. I was told she might make it through the weekend. Fast forward to yesterday. Lucy is back to being a pain in the ass and drank out of the toilet last night. This morning I went to the laundry room to let her out ( she cannot be trusted to stay unconfined at night) and found she had pooped all over the place.
My middle child thinks if she uses a British accent we can’t understand what she’s saying.
I think my vacuum cleaner died.
For some reason I need America to know that Bradley Cooper (BCoop to those in the know) got a perm.
Seriously, he is in pink rollers.
My vajayjay just doesn’t know what to think of this. It is in mourning for BCoop’s manliness.
Why can’t BCoop be on the new celebrity diving show? I mean, really. They pick a little person and Louie Anderson and a pageant girl. That’s a weird mix for ANY tv show.
Can you imagine the chit-chat during commercials?
I need a pedicure.