Kerry’s election night drinking game

Not that I'm advocating drinking, but if you were to drink tonight, feel free to use this handy dandy game to get your drank on. I have a cold, so I'll probably be having rootbeer.

Take a drink if:

1. CNN uses a hologram of someone for no reason.

Images

Jem and the Will.I.Am hologram in CNN's 2008 election night coverage

 

2. CNN uses a hologram of Abraham Lincoln.

3. Any analyst says "Ohio" or "Florida."

4. Dan Rather is brought out to say things like, "This will show you how tight it is — it's spandex tight." Yes, he actually said that once.

5. Obama thanks Jay-Z in his acceptance/consession speech.

6. Wolf Blitzer loses his shit and shaves his beard.

7. One of your Facebook friends posts "when will this be over?"

8. One of your Facebook friends says they will move to Canada if their candidate is not elected.

9. A Third Party Candidate is mentioned.

10. Tom Brokaw mentions The Greatest Generation.

11. Any analyst says "Romnesia."

12. A photo of Mitt's dog is shown.

13. A photo of Paul Ryan working out is shown.

14. Any analyst says "it's too close to call."

15. The video of Oprah or Jesse Jackson crying in 2008 is shown.

16. An analyst uses a giant touchscreen to show Electoral College votes.

17. Scary Lizardface James Carville laughs manically at something.

18. Mitt has a hair fall out of place.

19. Someone calls the President "Barack Hussein Obama." Drink eleventy-seven drinks if someone says "Barack Hussein Osama" accidentally.

20. Brian Williams slowjams the results.

 

Bonus Round:

Finish your drink if you start thinking one of the analysts is sexy. You're probably already drunk. 

Extra Bonus Points:

Give yourself all the points if Obama sings "Single Ladies" or says "if you liked it then you should have put a ring on it" in a concession speech. 

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Note: this is not an anti-Obama post. I just don't have a GIF of Mitt's head doing the "Single Ladies" dance. Remember, The Kerry Blog is non-partisan. I make fun of everyone.

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