Somebody let Yoko Ono design men's clothing. Here's what she came up with.
What man doesn't love a mesh shirt with shoulder cut-outs? I'm getting this ensemble for all the men on my Christmas list. Maybe not my dad. Yes, that is a hand on the crotch. A really big hands. Man hands.
Welcome to the part of the blog where I confess things because I feel like after writing this wordapallooza, I feel like I know you people.
I have never been to a gay bar, but I'm pretty sure a gay bar on New Year's is the only place you could wear this outfit. Unless you are Lady Gaga or Ke$ha or Katy Perry, then this is fine for the family Christmas party with the in-laws. Better yet, wear it to the kids' school holiday program.
Remember when I said nothing is sexier than a man nipple bra paired with crotch hands pants? Strike that. Nothing is sexier than a man in a love-handle cut-out blazer and thigh cut-out pants. This is okay with the slender man, but you know the love-handled man will buy it to wear to tailgate in with his "no fat chicks" shirt.
And Yoko, errrybody knows those are Prince's pants.
This is a board with bells that says "RING FOR YOUR MOMMY PIECE y.o. 69-12." I do not know what this means. I am not clever enough to get Yoko's wit. Why would one wear bells on the chest? and what is y.o. 69-12? is that 1969-2012? Yoko married John Lennon in 1969 – is that it? If so, by using the dash, is she confirming that John is still alive and on Celebrity Fake Death Island with Elvis and Michael Jackson? Does she want him to contact her via bells? THERE ARE SO MANY QUESTIONS.
Yoko, let's face it – you had me at mens pink mesh cut-out shirt.