random tuesday: beware of penguins edition

Hold the eff up – Newt Gingrich was bitten by a penguin. What the hell is going on with this election? Maybe the penguin was rabid. I'm starting that rumor right now. Can penguins even get rabies? 

In Brazil, a guy, his wife, and mistress killed women and cooked them up in empanadas. That is some for real Sweeney Todd shit.

Brad and Angelina are engaged. I bet he will have one heck of a bachelor party.

My middle child came home from school today and said she has to do a book report of a biography and asked who I thought she should read about. She also said she can dress up as the person for the presentation. I suggested Dolly Parton because I think she should profile a great woman in history. 

This is on the front page of HuffPo right now:

Screen Shot 2012-04-16 at 11.10.53 PM
Seriously, who puts a dog on the roof of a car? Mittens, I am disappointed. 

It is a known fact that if Mitt started going by "Mittens", he would get elected. 

Is this a good time to bring up the fact that HuffPo won a freaking Pulitzer this year? They did. Really. There was no prize awarded for non-fiction, but HuffPo won something. 

In other news, thank goodness Snooki didn't win a Pulitzer. Once again, this here blog was not nominated, probably due to the fact that "Pieced Men in Leatherhot and Gay" is one of the popular keyword searches.

And "pin up girl hammer." 

Tupac performed via hologram at Coachella over the weekend. Can I just tell y'all that I would rather see Tupac or for that matter JEM AND THE HOLOGRAMS than the Hank Williams Jr concert I attended with my hubs.

In other news, I am the best wife evah.

Oh, and here is a pic of me at the concert with my noise-canceling earbuds.

 

Photo

listening to The Shins

The earbuds were needed because Hank only sang about getting drunk, getting stoned, partying, and getting (ahem) some.

I should use that pic for the back of my book when it comes out in the summer of nevergonnahappen and fall of bwahahahaha.

 

 

 

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