random ruby tuesday

Why Ruby Tuesday? Because it's a good song and also my birthstone and I like them. And I was born on a Tuesday. For real – look it up on my Wikipedia entry. Full disclosure:  I don't have a Wikipedia entry, but if I did it would say I was born on a Tuesday in July.

Andrew McCarthy was 49 last week. My first celebrity crush is almost 50, y'all. That does not make me old. He is still gorgeous.

The other night I saw an infographic of penis sizes in Europe. Let that sink in for a minute. I didn't realize it was in centimeters and it scared me to death for a minute. Then I thought one would have to have a cavernous vajayjay to accomodate all that. Then I thought Cavernous Vajayjay is the best band name I've ever thought of. 

I want a job with a record company where they pay me to think of band names all day. Is that a job? Don't tell me it's not.

I have the worst paper cut of all time on my right ring finger. There may be a telethon for me, stay tuned.

My Alec Baldwin was kicked off a flight on American Airlines today for "abusive behavior" after being "reamed out" for playing Words With Friends after being told to turn off his phone. This is terrible. My Alec was treated like a terrorist. I tweeted him to stay strong. 

The oldest child asked me to get her a dreidel. She referred to it as "that spinny thing with symbols on it." We're Baptists.

Just tried to change the television channel with the phone.

You know what I don't get? Steam punk. 

 

Comments

  1. This post made me cackle with laughter. Thank you. Cavernous Vajayjay is the greatest band name anyone has ever come up with in the history of the world.

  2. Oh sweet mercy, this has brought me great joy on a gray Wednesday. Cavernous Vajayjay is even better than the Naked Eskimos, except the Naked Eskimos is actually a real band that Amy Bickers and I go to see. And then we dirty dance and I spank her bum while we shake it.

  3. Where are my manners? I’m Stephanie, nice to meet you.

  4. Amy, thanks. Laughter is the goal here.
    Stephanie, that was the best introduction of all time.

  5. I’ll start working on that telethon for you, but I won’t contact that famous telethon that fired you.

  6. Jenn, you know how much I hate Jerry Lewis.

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