Archives for October 2010

how to carve a pumpkin

Being an authority on pumpkin carving,  I thought I would instruct you people on how to properly carve a pumpkin.  


Pumpkin1 Step 1:

Get yourself a pumpkin.  Your pumpkin should be big, but not so big that you cannot pick it up.  If at all possible, have your spouse go pumpkin shopping to be sure you will have a pumpkin that cannot stand right-side up, so that you will have to turn it upside down to carve.  BECAUSE THAT'S THE WAY I DO IT.

Place pumpkin atop newspaper (this is just for show, as you will get pumpkin guts on the table and probably on the floor).



 Step 2:

If you have children, have them draw pictures of what they would like the pumpkin to look like and have a vote.  It is up to you if you would like to kick the non-winner off the island.

As you can see, the oldest child won — kitty pumpkin it is.





 Step 3:

Cut top off pumpkin and place to the side.  








Step 4:

Gut pumpkin with large spoon.  Scrape the inner walls of the pumpkin well.  

If you have children, have them remove the pumpkin guts, you don't want to touch that slimy stuff.  It's gross.







Step 5:

Assemble the tools you will need for carving (really, you should have done this earlier, but you aren't perfect).

– serrated knife

– paring knife 

– marker

Draw a face on your pumpkin.




Step 6:

Use your serrated knife for making the large cuts.  Once the large sections are cut out, go back with your paring knife to even your cuts and to make small cuts, such as the ones around the eyes.  Save the removed sections to cut ears, or do as I did and use the bottom, I mean TOP because I'm not using it anyway.

Use toothpicks to attach ears to your kitty pumpkin's head (for some reason we had plastic toothpicks – how weird is that?) and for the whiskers.



Step 7:

Use your paring knife to shave off the pumpkin skin on ears and pupils for dimension.  

Super Secret Tip: spray your pumpkin with Pam and rub with a paper towel to make it nice and shiny!







You have carved yourself a pumpkin.  Place a votive or Christmas lights inside and put it on your porch for Halloween to greet trick or treaters.  

Now, wasn't that fun?  


Happy Halloween!







happy all hallow’s eve eve


that’s me


this is not what he meant by “stimulation package”

America, this is why the terrorists hate us.  

The Obamarator.  Tagline: your personal stimulation package.  

Oh, yes, they did.

As a friend said, "they shouldn't make vibrators out of political figures."  I said, "I agree.  Unless McDreamy becomes a political figure."  

dear Blue Bell

Dear Blue Bell,

Thank you for making this box so unappealing that even I can pass on your delicious ice cream novelties.

Kerry Faler

dear Blue Bell

cigarettes and chocolate milk

I'm very much feeling Nataly Dawn's cover of "Cigarettes and Chocolate Milk" by Rufus Wainwright.


"I'm just a little bit heiress, a little bit Irish 
A little bit Tower of Pisa 
Whenever I see ya 
So please be kind if I'm a mess"

Isn't that the truth?

fall advice from Stefon

My SNL favorite, Stefon, was back on Weekend Update this past Saturday.  Here is his advice if you're going to NYC this fall.


"Look over there in the corner — is that Mick Jagger?  No, it's a fat kid on a Slip 'n Slide.  His knees look like biscuits and he's ready to party" is going to be my new way to distract people in conversation.  Love the Stefon.

tunes you need Tuesday: Pomplamoose

If you haven't heard my new favorite band yet, well, you're about to.  I've recently discovered the musical fabulousness that is Pomplamoose.  Their name comes from the French word for grapefruit in case you didn't know (really, this blog is so freaking educational).  Pomplamoose is Nataly Dawn and Jack Conte.  Just two people who possess incredible musical talent.  

Take a listen.


Pomplamoose has produced three albums available on iTunes and makes fun VideoSongs for their You Tube channel.  I love the concept of a song with a video blog at the end.  Very fun.


"It's all for show, so bake me cookies."  Love it.



How fun are Pomplamoose?  Very fun.  And way good.


I adore that song.  Love the quirkiness of it and the idea that someone in a relationship has an expiration date. And the Cary Grant clips don't hurt at all.


"Another Day" may be my favorite.  

"Another hour
Flying by
I've yet to shower
Yet to dry
And if you told me I was wonderful I probably would 
wonder why."


Of course, they covered "Beat It" for their album of covers.  I'm also partial to their version of "September" by Earth Wind and Fire.  


Have  I mentioned what a xylophone playing fool I was as a kid?  Oh, yeah.  I rocked the glockenspiel too.  I rocked it hard.  Can I join Pomplamoose?

I hope y'all love the Pomplamoose as much as I do.  Go download their albums and support good music.

careless whisper

Oh yeah.


no use crying

You know what they say, no use crying over spilled Sonic iced caramel latte.

no use crying